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New house blues, all I want is Sky

Posted by Lester Madden under General

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You would imaging that buying a new house would be a smooth process. You turn up with your removal van, throw open the doors and everything inside is gleaming and perfect. When I brought my last place it was a new Bovis home. While it wasn’t 100% perfect we had no problems. The site manager called and within a week pretty much 90% of the problems were sorted out.


We just brought a new Persimmons home. Oh my God is my blood boiling.  Let’s forget the fact that we hung a towel on a radiator and it almost fell off the wall. These are not gold stitched towels encrusted with heavy jewels or anything like that, it was a cheap Ikea hand towel. Let’s forget the fact that the upstairs toilet doesn’t flush or any of the other annoying little things that I told them about several weeks ago and am still waiting for some action on.  Let’s talk about the important issue like trying to watch TV and getting Sky installed.


When I brought the house I paid £170 to have 2 satellite points installed, it would make installing Sky a breeze and save me having to have wires drilled though the walls, along the skirting board etc. Did I mention the breeze to install, I mean what could be more difficult than screwing a dish to the side of the house and connecting 2 wires?


During the build process we were allowed in to the house at various stages, each time I mentioned to the site people that my satellite points were not installed, eventually the day before I moved in 1 point appeared, having paid for 2 (Sky+ needs 2 points) you can imaging I was a little pissed off.


When Sky visited they wouldn’t install without drilling holes everywhere which was the entire point of having the connection points put on the wall to begin with. I showed the Sky engineer the wires where he need to connect too. I think his exact words were “what the fuck is that mate” when he spotted the 15 or so wires that spouted out the bedroom wardrobe. This resulted in the first failed attempt at installing Sky.


After I reminded the Persimmon people repeatedly about the missing satellite point and gaining their confirmation that it would be installed I arranged for Sky to come back on the Tuesday.  I reminded the site guys on the Friday and was again assured we will be there on Monday. On Monday fuck all. On Tuesdays they called me and asked where I wanted the extra socket (referring to the plan would have been too hard) so I told them. 5 minutes later my wife calls me to tell me they put it in the wrong place. While they are figuring that out the second Sky engineer turns up and refuses to install Sky because the cables aren’t finished. (I now have a gapping whole under the TV were they incorrectly installed the socket)


What’s funny is the Sky engineer also takes a look at the bundle of wires in the bedroom and passes a similar “what the fuck comment” and also says that he won’t go into the loft to connect up the wires and that they will have to be brought down before the next time he comes. The site engineers from Persimmon who was standing next to him said he will go in to the loft but won’t drill a hole, the Sky guy will drill a hole but won’t go in the loft and never the twain shall meet. So I had to spend the evening myself climbing around the loft trying to figure out where the cables are.


Naturally at this point I am pissed off. After reminding Persimmons that Sky were coming on Tuesday and being promised they would finish the additional point on Monday they still fucked it up. Installing the satellite point while the Sky engineer looks on is pretty shit by anyone’s standards.


If you have Sky you’ll know it’s not cheap, I pay £59 a month and have been unable to watch it because of these incompetent dick heads, so I wrote to customer services to get compensation and got back a nice “fuck you response”. They haven’t heard the last of me yet and I sent them a nice “sort it out before I hang a big sheet over my balcony telling the world how shit you are” response.


Tomorrow Sky are visiting for the 3rd time, 3rd time lucky and all that. So tonight I have to buy myself a voltage meter and spend the evening trying to figure out where the birds nest of wires in the bed room go and which of the 15 belong to Sky.


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